I like to say that – including me–who’s going through a rough time or is stressed out or is grouchy or grumpy (taking things too seriously, stuck in a moment, stuck in doubt, the list goes on) often has the same basic problem: you’re your own worst enemy.
Here’s a counter-tactic. Try being your own best friend.
Think about how your best friend would feel if he or she saw you doing that abusive thing you do — drinking too much, abusing drugs, whatever. Think how if you were a good friend to someone, how you would feel watching them get down about things.
Think about how a best friend would support you if you got fired from that job you hated anyway. Or if that relationship you were in failed as it was inevitably going to anyway. Think about how your best friend would not allow you to beat yourself up over a mistake you made.
Change the way you talk to yourself, then. Talk to you like you’re a good friend of yourself.